yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize