just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
