You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
