We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
