I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
