# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
