Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
