so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
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