The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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