He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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