On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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