party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize