tell your sister to shave her snatch
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
