It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
