I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
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