Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize