I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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