just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize