My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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