i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
