i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
