Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
