would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
