I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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