There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize