just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
