Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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