Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
