guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
