I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
