Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
