a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
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