So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize