The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
