Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
