did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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