Whoa Z and x make the same sound
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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