My entire life is one complicated drinking game
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
