plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
