its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
