Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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