you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
it's like iHOP with fire
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
