do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
