i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
