you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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