There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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