Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
