Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
