i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
You are the jesus of drinking
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