I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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