he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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