I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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