party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
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