her vagine was all disorganized.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
