everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Life is so much better after having sex.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
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