why didn't you poke me back
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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