Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
