she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
