this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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